I just made out with a guy for $7.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Randomize
