i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
