I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
