Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
