So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
