ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
