I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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