you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
being pregnant is like rehab
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
