JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
