So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
