PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
