Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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