She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
