he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
People in love make me want to vomit
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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