i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
