I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
