Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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