That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
