you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
