Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
