K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
