He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
