It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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