Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
