i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It's like God shit irony all over that family
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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