You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
