Don't you send me to vm
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
