I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
