i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
