wat bout pragnant strippers??
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Randomize
