i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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