so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
