After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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