At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
