I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
