I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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