everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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