if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
