think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
