You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
