well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I stole a fireplace last night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
