Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
