Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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