I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
