The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Brb crying the tears of my youth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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