How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
