Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
