I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
