I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
