What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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